Feral Cooks

Good food shouldn't be tame

Coconut Ice Cream

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This is a pretty decent recipe, but it doesn’t result in a creamy ice cream that you may be used to. Rather, it’s a little gritty from ice crystals that form when it freezes. It does taste great, but don’t freak out about the texture. In the instructions, I’ll note a couple of possible changes that may make it turn out with a bit of a different texture.

No matter what, it’s worth a try, given that it’s inexpensive and easy to make.

I found this recipe in a book long ago, and the copy I made doesn’t show the book title or author–and of course, I can’t remember.

What you’ll need:

  • 1 cup coconut milk (I used coconut cream)
  • 0.75 cups heavy cream (whipping cream)
  • 0.25 cups sugar (I wonder how brown or raw sugar would make it turn out)
  • 2T unsweetened dried shredded coconut (or 3T shredded fresh coconut)
  • 2 eggs

What to do:

Combine the coconut milk, cream, sugar and coconut in a saucepan and bring to a boil. While that’s heating up, beat the eggs in a large bowl. As soon as the cream mixture boils, whisk it into the eggs. Make sure to whisk thoroughly. I’m not sure, but I think the 212-degree cream mixture would kill any bacteria in the eggs as it’s whisked into them. From a food-safety perspective, that’s your call if it’s safe or not.

After the mixture cools to a more reasonable texture, the recipe says to pour the cream/egg mixture into a small loaf pan, then freeze it until firm. After making it once, I would recommend—before pouring into the loaf pan—going at the mixture with an immersion blender or electric beater while it’s still in the bowl, trying to whip as much air as possible into it. (Just like Dairy Queen ice cream—Surprise!!!, you’re paying for mostly air!.)

Regardless of your preparation method, once the mixture is in the loaf pan and frozen, the original recipe says to beat it—which is impossible because it’s solid. Hence, why I recommended doing so before adding it to the loaf pan. BUT, at this point, you could let it thaw a bit, and hit it with the beater again to get more air into it.

Adding some toasted coconut over the top is a great way to serve this, and it goes great with coconut macaroons.

Serve cold (heh heh).

Ricotta Fritta and Weird Ice Cubes

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This recipe for ricotta fritters is from a blog called We are not Foodies, which is pretty funny in a lot of ways. For instance, they post this Onion video making fun of celebrity and pretentious chefs. Have a look, it’s spot on and very funny. If you’re easily offended by people making fun of pretentious jackasses, then best not watch it.

I would definitely consider this a recipe that needs more work. The fritters were OK, but the consistency was off, and they were a little bland. That said, put a little time in improving the recipe and it could be a winner.

What you’ll need:

  • 1 lb ricotta cheese 
  • 2T all-purpose flour
  • 1 large egg, well beaten
  • 2T Parmesan cheese, finely grated
  • 1T lemon juice
  • Salt and ground black pepper, to taste

What to do:

Mix all the ingredients on a bowl to make a ricotta batter.

Heat some olive oil in a (preferably) nonstick skillet and place spoonfuls of the batter in the hot pan, gently flattening them into disks.

Let them brown on the first side for a couple of minutes, before flipping them to brown the other side. Keep a close eye on them because they can burn easily.

Move them to a paper-towel-lined plate to absorb some of the oil before moving them to a serving dish.

Serve hot with a little olive oil drizzled on them.

Now for the weird ice cubes.

This is so lame that I wasn’t going to include it, but I just had to post these photos with their rich colors.

These are ice cubes made with water and a squirt of water flavoring in each cube compartment, as shown in the photo below. This happened to be cherry flavor.

I’m not sure what the point of these are, other than they look cool. If you just start with regular water in a glass and added these cubes, they’ll flavor the water as they melt. But that’s not really that cool, is it?

Tofu Bacon: I can’t believe I made this.

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I love bacon, and the only thing stopping me from eating a ton of it is the negative health impact of doing such a thing. So, obviously, I’m NOT a vegan, and I generally find it weird that vegetarians and vegans try to replicate meat with other organic matter. Think of those ridiculously over-processed and overpriced Impossible Burgers. Holy shit, look at this ingredient list: Water, Soy Protein Concentrate, Coconut Oil, Sunflower Oil, Natural Flavors, and 2% or less of: Potato Protein, Methylcellulose, Yeast Extract, Cultured Dextrose, Food Starch Modified, Soy Leghemoglobin, Salt, Soy Protein Isolate, Mixed Tocopherols (Vitamin E), Zinc Gluconate, Thiamine Hydrochloride (Vitamin B1), Sodium Ascorbate (Vitamin C), Niacin, Pyridoxine Hydrochloride (Vitamin B6), Riboflavin (Vitamin B2), Vitamin B12.

If you think that’s good for you, knock yourself out.

But this post is not about vegetarians or vegans—whose lifestyle choices I generally support. I just wanted to try something different with this tofu bacon, and it was worth the try.

That said, don’t delude yourself that this is a replacement for bacon. It’s generally flavorless, but what really works is the texture—it perfectly mimics crispy bacon in its crunch. As such, it’s good for a BLT-type sandwich or even as part of a grilled cheese sandwich. 

What you’ll need:

  • 1 package extra-firm tofu
  • BBQ sauce or liquid smoke or even maple syrup for brushing on the tofu slices to make them more “bacon-like”
  • Cooking spray

What to do:

Open the tofu package and drain it. Then press the tofu with a heavy skillet on top, or, if you have one, a tofu press. The key here is to get the tofu really dry, so press it for a long time—a minimum of an hour.

Slice the tofu along the short edge into about 1/8”-thick strips, even thinner if you can. While I didn’t try it, I wonder if a mandolin would be a good tool for cutting uniform-thick strips. Lay the strips out and use paper towels to blog any more liquid from them.

At this point you could spend time looking online at other sauces and marinates designed to impart bacon flavor, or you could go the easy route and brush bbq sauce, liquid smoke or maple syrup (why not all three) on the tofu slices and let them sit for awhile before baking them.

To bake, heat your oven to 350 degrees—some people recommend 425, but I feel “low and slow” is the best route here. On a baking sheet, add foil or parchment paper and give it a quick spray with oil. Lay out the slices in a single layer and bake until crisp. Maybe start out with 10 minutes, and check every few minutes until they start to brown. How long this will take depends on how accurate your oven heats, how thick your slices are and how much flavorings you put on them.

When done and crisp, add to your favorite BLT or grilled cheese sandwiches.