Feral Cooks

Good food shouldn't be tame

Pickled Watermelon Rind

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Looks a lot like tuna sashimi from the small layer of melon purposely left on the rind.

A friend on a different floor of our high-rise is both a foodie and a great cook. We often share extra produce, and the other day she called to offer a quarter watermelon—they had bought a huge one and had no more room in their fridge.

When I went to pick it up, I noticed she had skinned the outer portion of the rind and cut it into four-inch strips. When I asked about them, she told me something I’d never heard of or considered: pickled watermelon rinds.

Sound weird? Yup. Tastes good? Oh yeah.

Needless to say, I got home and looked online for some recipes, and there are tons of them. The one I used is a Food & Wine recipe that’s part of a larger recipe for grilled-chicken lettuce wraps.

These pickles are super-easy to make, and they taste fantastic. I think they last at least a couple of weeks in the refrigerator, as evidenced by me not being dead from eating them after that long.

What you’ll need:

  • 1 cup unseasoned rice vinegar
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 0.5 cups water
  • 1T kosher salt (less works, too)
  • One 1-inch slice of crystallized ginger (you can skip this to no ill effect to the recipe)
  • 1 star anise (I used 3)
  • Watermelon rind with the green skin and all but 1/4 inch of the red flesh removed, rind sliced 1 inch wide and about 4 inches long, or whatever. You can cut them into the size that works best for you after they’re cooked and cooled.

What to do:

Combine in a medium saucepan the vinegar, 
sugar, water, salt, ginger and star anise and bring to a boil over high heat, stirring until the sugar is fully dissolved.

Add the watermelon rind and boil for 1 minute, then transfer to a large heatproof bowl.

Let the rind cool to a reasonable degree, then refrigerate it for 3 hours.

Drain well and cut to whatever size you like.

Lemongrass Sausage Lettuce Wraps

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This is an outstanding Food & Wine recipe that I highly recommend. These wraps make a great appetizer or light meal.

I’ve made a few sausage recipes over the years, such as this, this and this, all of which turned out quite good. Lemongrass sausage is no exception. Mixing fresh ingredients with the meat cannot be topped for flavor. And with no nitrates or any other added chemicals, you can be sure that whatever homemade sausage you make won’t be bad for you like the premade industrialized stuff.

The Food and Wine folks want you to grind your own sausage for these, but if you don’t feel like doing that (I didn’t), just use course, fatty ground pork. I’ve replaced that pound of pork shoulder and 0.25 pounds of pork fatback in the original recipe with ground pork. Of course, if you have the equipment to grind your own (and can actually find fatback), I’m sure the results will be outstanding.

Note that below this recipe for the lettuce wraps, there’s a recipe for one of the ingredients (a condiment really), nuoc cham. Don’t skip this; it’s a critical finishing touch.

What you’ll need:

  • 0.33 cups coarsely chopped scallions

  • 0.25 cups coarsely chopped fresh lemongrass, outer layer and ends removed
  • 1T kosher salt
  • 1t granulated sugar
  • 1t lime zest
  • 2 medium garlic cloves, crushed
  • 1-1.25 lbs. non-lean ground pork
  • 1T neutral oil
  • 12 butter lettuce leaves
  • 1 cup matchstick-cut carrots
  • Thai chilies, seeded and thinly sliced
  • Fresh mint and cilantro leaves (I skipped these)
  • *Nuoc Cham

What to do:

Mix the scallions, lemongrass, salt, sugar, lime zest, and garlic in a large bowl.

Add the scallion mixture to the ground pork and mix well with your hands. Let sit in the refrigerator for at least an hour—a few hours is even better.

Shape the ground pork mixture into about 12 2-inch patties (I made them bigger). Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Working in batches, cook the patties until well browned and no longer pink in the center. Remove from skillet and let rest 5 minutes.

To serve, stack a couple of lettuce leaves to make a cup. Add the sausage(s), carrots, mint, cilantro, and nuoc cham.

*Nuoc Cham

This stuff is delicious! If you’re making the lettuce wraps, go the extra mile for the nuoc cham.

What you’ll need:

  • 0.5 cup warm water
  • 3T fresh lime juice (from 2 limes)—bottled juice works fine, too
  • 2T granulated sugar or 3 to 4 tablespoons pure maple syrup
  • 2t rice vinegar (optional)
  • 3T fish sauce

Optional additions

  • 1 Thai or serrano chili, deseeded and thinly sliced
  • Asian chile-garlic sauce or sambal oelek
  • 1 large garlic clove, minced

What to do:

In a small bowl, stir 0.5 cups water, lime juice and sugar in a small bowl until the sugar dissolves—dilute with water if flavors are too strong. If it’s a bit bitter, add rice vinegar to remove bitterness.

Stir in the fish sauce—add more, if needed, to taste. The flavor should be bold and somewhat salty from the fish sauce. This sauce is usually used to dress unsalted food like lettuce or herbs, so it has to be flavorful.

If you’re using carrot matchsticks, sliced chilies, or garlic, add them now. Cover, refrigerate and let the flavors meld for a while.

Smashed Potatoes

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It’s not often that you can use “smashed” in a name for a dish, and I enjoyed typing every letter of it. These are, of course, basically small baked potatoes that have been smooshed, buttered and baked until crispy.

If anyone has any ideas for other smashed foods, please let me know.

What you’ll need:

  • 1 lb small (baby) potatoes
  • 2T melted butter (or a little more)
  • Garlic powder, to taste
  • Onion powder, to taste
  • Salt and pepper, to taste

Good options for toppings

  • Crumbled bacon
  • Chopped scallions
  • Sour cream

What to do:

Wash and boil the potatoes in a pot or large saucepan. Boiling time depends on the potato size. About 20-30 minutes should work in most cases. They have to be cooked enough to easily flatten when pressed.

When they’re cooked, drain the potatoes and let them cool and dry for a few minutes.

Start heating your oven to 350 degrees.

Meanwhile, put the potatoes on a nonstick baking pan and gently smoosh them with a slotted spatula until each potato is flattened, but not fragmented. Spraying the underside of the spatula with cooking spray helps reduce sticking.

Pour the melted butter evenly across all of the potatoes you’re baking. Be liberal with it (and with everything else in your life, too). After applying the butter, sprinkle with the two powders, salt and pepper.

Bake the potatoes for 20-40 minutes, or until golden brown and crispy. That’s a wide time-window, so start keeping an eye on them very few minutes after 20 minutes.

Enjoy hot out of the oven.